The Anti-antioxidant

So I’m out doing a little shopping today at my local Target and began to wonder if a biological attack of some sort is eminent. Seems everywhere you go that sells food and beverage the good folks who produce these products have been nice enough to add antioxidants to just about everything. Some food products, but mostly drinks are now very antioxidant friendly.

It seems to me there is a sudden sense of urgency to save all of us from disease, sickness, and to protect our overall general health. While walking the aisles of the store I saw everything form drinking water, energy drinks, veggie chips, and even Diet Coke plus which contains a wide variety of vitamins for “better health.” Are these manufacturers really that concerned for our health and wellbeing? Or do they simply have better military intelligence than our own government and are getting us ready for a shit storm of illness?

I felt like a more evolved person today because I rarely get sick and seldom buy these food and drinks? My sister is a registered dietitian and encourages the benefits of antioxidants in food, yet she is always sick with something or other.

Do they really work? I browsed through a few websites after my trip to Target today, and the arguments for antioxidants remind me of the arguments for global warming, a shit load for it and a shit load against it. Some of these credible experts claim antioxidants are only good for preventing sickness and other health conditions, but not necessarily effective in all people. Some questioned their effectiveness at all.

Most of these food and drink items are bullshit in their representation. It’s fucking scare-marketing in its purest form. It’s also funny when some of these items boast they have antioxidants when they already existed there. It’s like spending extra money for antibacterial soap when soap is already inherently antibacterial, so what’s the point?

These companies aren’t doing anyone a favor or a public service, they acting like the Christianity in the middle ages and scaring the shit out of the uneducated and just plain stupid people who are their most lucrative customers.

Sooner or later I’ll be taking a trip to the beach and there will be a billboard off the freeway advertising sand or a large body of water with waves. Thanks for the update asshole!

At some point during the remainder of the human evolutionary process we’re going to get fucked. Antibiotics are already helping the bugs that make us sick become more resistant and strong. I’m not stubborn when it comes to seeking medical assistance when I’m injured or sick. However I have to be damn near death before I take antibiotics. My immune system is bad ass because it gets a lot of practice, hence why I rarely get sick. Sure I throw up every now and again, but that’s usually after a bender with Mr. Vex and four quarts of bourbon.

If antioxidants become more present in everyday foods, are our bodies going to become over reliant on them? After walking through Target I dread the day I buy a pack of antioxidant hot dogs, or even worst seeing an advertisement for the new Big Mac with antioxidants. Shit, someone will need to fucking firebomb the McDonald’s headquarters the day that happens.

I guess my trip to Target today just pissed me off. I don’t the idea of some corporation who I don’t know on a personal level watching my back or telling me how to think and eat. At least when my sister gives me advice on what to eat or drink she can back it up with scientific fact. Gatorade fails to impress me with a half-ass drawing of molecules on the side of their bottle.

Similarly I don’t like to eat at In N Out Burger after discovering the little John 3:16 stamp on the bottom of their cups. Just give me what I want and mind your own goddamn business.

Of course to top everything off today, as I’m leaving Target the last this I see on the automatic exit door is a sign reading, “have a safe trip home.” Don’t worry about me Target, I’ll be just fine.

And maybe, just maybe the next time I discuss a topic like this I’ll actually call my sister to get some scientific facts and provide more answers than questions.

Just maybe.